Saturday, January 10, 2009

Being blind is not so bad...

Well, I believe I will try this blogging thing. It sounds like a great idea, because quite frankly, I have all kinds of thoughts go through my head. However, I never ponder on them for longer than it takes to for those thoughts to pass through my head (which is not long at all). Perhaps writing them here will fix that problem. Most of the thoughts are stupid and not even worth mentioning, but every now and again I may come across something that is noteworthy, in which case, I will try to post them here.

My first thoughts will be on my frustrations with planning for life. My co-worker and I were discussing this last night (there is plenty of time for conversation when you work night-shift at a residential treatment facility where all of the teenagers are asleep). Anyway, we began discussing how crazy it is that you are expected to make decisions about the rest of your life when you are a mere 18 years old. I am referring to decisions on college. If you go to college right out of high school, you are expected to make decisions about you education, career, and ultimately the path that your life will travel and you really haven't even experienced any life yet. It is a little absurd to require that of such a young, still wet behind the ears, person.

I am not mentioning this because I think that I chose the wrong path or because I wish I would have chosen something else. I am content with the path that I have taken. My frustrations come when I ponder what is next. A few nights ago, I sat in bed for two hours, when I should have been sleeping, just pondering that simple phrase: What is next? When I was younger (high school-ish, and even some in college), I had this crazy perception. I thought that I would graduate high school, go to college, get a Bachelors degree, start my career, and I would be well on my way in the Game of Life. However, now that I have done those things, I feel like there are many more steps. Unfortunately, the path is kinda dark and I can't really see where those next few steps are. I feel like I am walking blindly through life right now. I am so uneasy and anxious to take the next step, but I don't even know what the next step is!

I got a GPS for Christmas, and the thing is pretty cool. It will show me my location on the map and it will tell me where to go. But the thing that is cool to me is that you can drag the map along the route so you can see your whole trip and all of the turns that you will take throughout the course of your trip. You never have to guess or be in the dark about what is ahead. I kinda wish life was like that. I guess God is like my GPS (without Sue, the GPS voice, yelling at me to take a right turn in 2.9 miles). Unfortunately, God doesn't have the feature of scrolling through the route of your life. It sure would be nice. No more walking blindly through life. But then again, that is what is so awesome about a relationship with God. You don't have to know everything that lies ahead. No matter how frustrating it is, it is so comforting to know that no matter what turns are ahead and whether or not you can see them coming, He will be there to guide you through that turn. And if I make a wrong turn, just like the GPS, He still knows where I am because He is still right there with me, offering grace that I cannot comprehend and leading back to the path.

So, while I wish I could say I know what lies ahead, it's a beautiful mystery when you have the Creator of Life guiding you and walking with you along that same "Game of Life" that He created.

That was long...especially for my first post... oh well.

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